I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
