never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
