can u get pink eye on your cock?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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