If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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