I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
