How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize