The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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