I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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