just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
