Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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