My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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