Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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