listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
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