do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
