I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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