I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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