You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
