What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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