yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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