return my video game
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
