I like my sex mixed with concussions.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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