I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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