I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
