You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The air was thick with penises
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
