I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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