Having a random hookup so left but love u
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
