Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
People in love make me want to vomit
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
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The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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