remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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