@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize