Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize