Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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