my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she woke up with a sticky ear
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
