i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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