I feel like I'm in dance class right now
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Im just a social blackout drinker.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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