My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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