Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
