So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
