How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
