I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
