It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
