Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
