he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Your penis caused this!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
