my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
What changed your mind?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"