I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here