Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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