Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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