Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend