Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
