How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
