These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
