Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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