every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
