i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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