Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
