hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize