O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
