But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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