So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
