seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize