so that wasnt chicken after all
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
