he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
