I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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